Michaeltothe*Anne

Smith Co. Sheriff's Office Responds to Argument Over Kittens

2009-05-06T07:31:00.000-07:00

An argument that broke out between two neighbors over one allegedly taking the other's kittens was resolved by sheriff's deputies Saturday night.

Smith County Sheriff's deputies received a call from a man around 3:45 p.m. on County Road 4145 who said his neighbor took two of his kittens and would not return them.

About an hour later, the man called back demanding deputies come to the scene because the neighbor still refused to give back his kittens. He said that he and the neighbor both were intoxicated and he "has a pistol," according to the report.

Space Station Residents to Drink Recycled Urine

2009-04-15T12:51:00.000-07:00

Michael Barratt, a NASA astronaut and flight surgeon making his first flight, said the crew has been cleared to use processed urine and condensate for personal hygiene, and expects permission to begin drinking the recycled water in the next few weeks.
Barratt also told CBS News that he looked forward to "running on Colbert" when a new treadmill, named after comedian Stephen Colbert, is delivered to the station later this year.
Colbert recently urged viewers to vote for him in a NASA competition to name a new space station module. His choice--the Colbert module--came in first, but NASA announced on his show Tuesday that the module would instead be named Tranquility. Astronaut Sunita Williams, a space station veteran, told the comedian that instead, a new treadmill would be known as the Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill, or Colbert.

For anyone interested in taking a tour of your own ass-hole, don't miss your chance!

2009-04-09T13:03:00.000-07:00

An inflatable, 20-foot-long eight-foot-high replica of a human colon will be in Tyler from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Friday at the East Texas Medical Center's Pavilion, 801 Clinic Drive.

The "Prevent Cancer Super Colon" will teach people that colorectal cancer is preventable, treatable and beatable, officials said. Visitors can walk through the display and get a close-up look at healthy colon tissue, tissue with non-malignant colorectal disease, colorectal polyps and various stages of colorectal cancer.

Colorectal cancer is the second-leading cancer killer but is curable 90 percent of the time when detected early.

Games, door prizes and refreshments will also be available at the event. Parking will be available next to the Pavilion or across the street.

Outside my Office Window....

2009-03-11T09:05:00.000-07:00

Live Broadcasting by Ustream

I Wouldn't Throw You Out of Bed For Eating Crackers...

2009-03-05T07:22:00.000-08:00

Citing "insufficient looks," Charles Hausner, 31, Irvine, California, threw Amy Glass out of his bed Monday after catching the 27-year-old consuming Saltines. According to Hausner, Glass was not attractive enough to warrant special in-bed cracker-eating privileges. "Had she looked like Claudia Schiffer, I most certainly would have let the transgression slide and allowed her to stay in my bed and get crumbs all over the sheets," Hausner said. "But she doesn't, so I had no choice but to kick her out.

And from Smith County.......A man reported to Smith County deputies that he came home and found a strange woman sitting on his couch eating crackers from his kitchen cabinets in his residence on County Road 1125. Authorities say the man held the woman until deputies could arrive and charge her with criminal trespass of a habitation.Officials said the woman, believed to be intoxicated, was looking for someone who did not live at the residence.

Sign the Petition to Bring Back Movin 107.5

2009-03-03T11:16:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's true....CBS Broadcasting has decided to replace the Top 40 format to a Hispanic music station. Damn it, I miss my Burn. Even though I never really worked out to it, but I thought about it...a lot. In fact, I probably would have started working out real soon if they hadn't taken it off the air.

Think of all the fun party tricks we're going to miss too...like the one Mel told us about one morning where you take a matchbook, fold it in half, lick the cardboard part and stick it inside your bra and light it on fire.

Please bring back Chris & Mel, the Burn & that obnoxious guy that was on when I was driving home. Go here to sign the petition...... http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?movin107&1

The Grand Prairie Police Needs Your Help.....

2009-03-02T11:18:00.000-08:00

The Grand Prairie Police is asking for assistance from the public in locating an assault rifle
they noticed had gone missing from a squad car. Seriously?

Cheney Hurt Himself Moving Boxes...

2009-01-21T12:10:00.000-08:00

What...Was he trying to hide evidence?

George W. Bush has Disembarkitated the Building!

2009-01-20T09:22:00.000-08:00

Democrat Panties...

2009-01-09T14:12:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year's Eve & Go Elf Yourself

2008-12-31T08:39:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone has a safe & wonderful New Year's Eve. I am still contemplating how to spend mine. It's hardly worth going out with all the drunks on the road.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

It Snowed

2008-12-16T13:21:00.001-08:00

Everything is just more beautiful sprinkled with a little snow.

Canton Woman Get 9 Years in Pyramid Scam

2008-12-15T09:40:00.000-08:00

A Dallas federal judge has sentenced a Canton woman to nine years in prison for her role in a multimillion-dollar securities fraud case and on a failure-to-appear charge after she skipped an earlier sentencing hearing.
On Dec. 3, U.S. District Judge Barbara Lynn sentenced Cynthia Setser, 51, to five years in prison for her role in a multimillion-dollar pyramid scheme spearheaded by her husband, Gregory Setser.
Ms. Setser must also pay more than $61 million in restitution and serve four years for failing to appear at her January 2007 sentencing.
The scheme, aimed largely at Christian investors including televangelist Benny Hinn, bilked hundreds of people from Texas and California out of more than $170 million before the FBI shut down the Setsers' sham import company, IPIC Investments, in 2003. Mr. Setser was sentenced to 40 years in prison.
Ms. Setser was arrested in Florida in December 2007, 11 months after she skipped her original sentencing hearing.

Important Health Issue For Women.....

2008-12-12T12:49:00.000-08:00

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident
about yourself and your actions.

Margaritas can help ease you out of your Shyness and let you tell the
world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with
a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent
you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will
discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start
living, with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or
nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind
nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include:

- Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration
- Erotic lustfulness
- Loss of motor control
- Loss of money
- Table dancing
- Headache
- Dehydration
- Dry mouth
- And a desire to sing Karaoke

WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.

WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.

WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

NOTE:
Alternative formulary and non-formulary versions of this name brand
product are available,including Cosmopolitan and generic alternatives
have proven effective including anything ending in "tini".

Three Wise Women.....

2008-12-05T08:20:00.000-08:00

What Would Have Happened if it Had Been Three Wise Women Instead of Three Wise Men?

They would have asked directions,
Arrived on time,
Helped deliver the baby,
Cleaned the stable,
Made a casserole,
And brought practical gifts……..

But What Would They Have Said When They Left...?

“Did you see the sandals Mary was wearing with that gown?"
"I heard Joseph isn't even working right now."
"And that donkey they were riding has seen better days, too."
"Virgin, my a$$! I knew her in high school."
"That baby doesn't look anything like Joseph."
"Want to bet how long it will take to get my casserole dish back?"
"Did you see that drummer boy? He can beat my drum anytime!!!

Please Be Responsible When Naming Yo Baby...

2008-11-21T10:08:00.000-08:00

Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz and SNL lip syncing disatress, Ashlee Simpson have apparently decided to name their first child, Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Are you kidding me? For the love of god, please think about the repercussions when naming children. Bronx is bad enough, but MOWGLI…Mowgli of Disney’s Indian jungle boy who hangs around with a strange bear. Was she lucid when she had this put on the birth certificate?

I personally love a well thought out, unusual name. In fact, my youngest is named after the first head coach of the Dallas Cowboys AND a darn fine restaurant.

Go here or a faux pas trip down memory lane. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVA51sgBb3I

Bloggin' is Hard...

2008-11-21T07:45:00.001-08:00

Well…Let’s see what’s been going on lately….Obama won, yea!, Hilary Clinton..Secretary of State...we will see….& gasoline at $1.68 a gallon! I’m actually more excited about the gas prices right now since all the election excitement has kinda died down. I mean, can you believe it! $1.68! I can actually fill my car up for twenty dollars, amazing! (Enough of fuel prices for the moment, I don’t want to get a citation from the Bureau of Excessive Exclamation Points.)

On a sadder note, Jim Mattox died. Mr. Mattox, 65, had served as a Dallas County assistant district attorney, state legislator, three-time U.S. congressman and two-time Texas attorney general. He ended a successful string of political campaigns by losing the 1990 Democratic gubernatorial primary in a vicious race against Ann Richards. He will be very missed.

Happy Halloween!!!!!

2008-10-31T09:06:00.000-07:00

I Think I'm Allergic to Cheese....

2008-10-30T11:31:00.001-07:00

I think I have finally made the connection to my constant rash, upset stomach and various other unpleasant conditions. CHEESE!

Woo Hoo, I have been cheese free for four days now and all my symptoms have disappeared! I will say there is nothing sadder than nachos sans cheese......all your stuff falls off. The Laughing Cow mocks me.

Caption This Photo.......

2008-10-29T08:49:00.000-07:00

Here's a Fun Drinking Game for the Debate Tonite....

2008-10-15T09:28:00.000-07:00

Every time John McCain mentions his POW experience, praise his courage and drink a kamikaze.

Every time Obama says change everyone has to switch seats and drink the other person's drink of choice.

Every time John McCain tries to associate Barack Obama with an unsavory character, take a sip of your dirty martini.

Every time someone says bailout you have to finish your drink and pour another.

Every time John McCain says "my friends", spit out your drink and shout "I am not your friend" at the television.

Every time "evil", "evil doers", or anything with evil is mentioned, drink a sip of French red wine.

Every time John McCain threatens Iran, drink a savage car bomb or cherry bomb.

Every time Barack Obama ties John McCain to George W. Bush, drink a sloe gin fizz and wish for better days.

Every time John McCain displays how hopelessly out of touch he is, drink an old bastard.

Every time John McCain refers to the USSR or any other non-existent formerly communist country, get ready to ride the red tide.

When Georgia is mentioned, drink a fuzzy navel.

Every time John McCain mentions Sarah Palin, drink a white russian. After all, if Sarah Palin is around there must be a Russian nearby somewhere.

Every time John McCain smiles creepily, drink a roofie-colada.

Every time John McCain mentions Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac, guzzle a beer.

If anyone mentions a golden parachute, pound some goldschlager.

Every time John McCain makes an appeal to states rights, lean back and take a sip of that sweet southern comfort.

When NATO membership is mentioned, clink glasses with everyone around you and attack anyone who refuses to clink.

Bring Back Dan Quayle or Something..............

2008-09-30T10:21:00.000-07:00

Perhaps we should petition for Dan Quayle to step in…

From the Katie Couric/Sarah Palin interview:

Palin: (Referring to McCain) He's also known as the maverick though, taking shots from his own party, and certainly taking shots from the other party. Trying to get people to understand what he's been talking about - the need to reform government.

Couric: But can you give me any other concrete examples? Because I know you've said Barack Obama is a lot of talk and no action. Can you give me any other examples in his 26 years of John McCain truly taking a stand on this?

Palin: I can give you examples of things that John McCain has done, that has shown his foresight, his pragmatism, and his leadership abilities. And that is what America needs today.

Couric: I'm just going to ask you one more time - not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation.

Palin: I'll try to find you some and I'll bring them to you.

~~~~~

Couric: You've cited Alaska's proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?

Sarah Palin: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and, on our other side, the land-boundary that we have with Canada. It's funny that a comment like that was kinda made to … I don't know, you know … reporters.

Couric: Mocked?

Palin: Yeah, mocked, I guess that's the word, yeah.

Couric: Well, explain to me why that enhances your foreign-policy credentials.

Palin: Well, it certainly does, because our, our next-door neighbors are foreign countries, there in the state that I am the executive of. And there…

Couric: Have you ever been involved in any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?

Palin: We have trade missions back and forth, we do. It's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia. As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are right next to our state.

(Those excerpts were from cbsnew.com: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/24/eveningnews/main4476173.shtml.)

Video segment from the above interview where she explains why she has foreign policy experience… because Russia is so close:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/25/palin-talks-russia-with-k_n_129318.html

Not at all accurate, but very funny version of the interview:

Katie Couric - Thank you for being here, Governor Palin.

Sarah Palin - I'm all about being here.

Katie Couric - Are you and John McCain in favor of this $700 billion bailout?

Sarah Palin - I'm totally in favor of supporting the troops. My son is a troop.

Katie Couric - Right. But I'm asking about the bailout proposal for Wall Street.

Sarah Palin - You sure are. You betcha.

Katie Couric - So are you in favor of it?

Sarah Palin - Reform needs to be in the Wall Street. Not just sittin' on the curb of Wall Street. We need it in the middle of the street. Like a dead squirrel.

Katie Couric - Can we afford to give tax breaks to the wealthiest Americans right now?

Sarah Palin - Well, what do you mean by tax breaks? Like on a car? Those kinds of breaks?

Katie Couric - Less taxes.

Sarah Palin - You know, I'm really into the Bush doctrine. I'm like, supporting it.

Katie Couric - In the event that something were to happen to John McCain, are you ready to step in and be president?

Sarah Palin - I have the steadiness to be steady. I'm getting in there and really doing it. Not just not doing it. I'm not going to be like 'hey, presidency, talk to the hand.'

Katie Couric - But are you ready to become the leader of the free world?

Sarah Palin - Totally. I will totally lead the world. Any world. I will lead Mars or whatever too if those guys need a world president. Or just a Mars president. I took on the ole' boys club in Alaska and I can take it on in Mars.

Katie Couric - But I'm not asking about being president of Mars.

Sarah Palin - But I am answering about being president of Mars because a president person needs to be prepared for anything. I like to reform.

Katie Couric - I understand you only just got a passport last year.

Sarah Palin - You know, I was in Idaho for my friend Amber's wedding a ways back. Lemme tell you, Katie. We American taxpayers have a lot more in common with other countries than we think. There were Budweiser beers cans at that Idaho wedding. And Hot Pockets too. Those pizza flavored ones. Yummy.

Katie Couric - Wait, are you saying that Idaho is another country?

Sarah Palin - I'm saying they have Hot Pockets just like us. Pizza ones even. It's called 'the globalization.'

Katie Couric - But let me get this straight because I think it's important. Is Idaho another country?

Sarah Palin - You know, I'm not going to get into that right now. I think American men and women and men are focused on solutions. Not what's a country or what's not a country. Some places aren't countries. They're just things. And that's ok. Do you know the difference between a country and a thing?

Katie Couric - I'm not sure I do.

Sarah Palin - Hot Pockets.

Katie Couric - And finally, where will you and John McCain take this country?

Sarah Palin - We are going to take it somewhere really nice. A nice place where all American taxpayer people will totally be like 'hey, hello, this is really nice.'" And then we'll take it from that really nice place and over to a nicer place, a super duper nice one. More super duper nice than my cousin Marge even. And the American taxpayer people will be like 'hey, this is a super duper nice place. More than Marge even.'" Reform.

Katie Couric - Thank you, Governor.

David Letterman Slams McCain

2008-09-25T07:37:00.000-07:00

David Letterman rants for ten minutes on John McCain after McCain blows off Letterman's show to be on "CBS Evening News" with Katie Couric. Watch it all, it's worth it. Towards the very end you see McCain getting powdered up to go on with Katie. Priceless!!

Signs That Probably Won't Make You Go To Church

2008-09-24T06:41:00.000-07:00

umm...okay?

Bruce, You Will Be Missed...

2008-09-23T14:28:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful obit, one of the funniest I have ever read.
http://www.legacy.com/DALLASMORNINGNEWS/Obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=117741716

Texas State Fair Opens Friday, September 26!!!!

2008-09-23T13:14:00.000-07:00

It's almost here! I actually put in three months ago to have Friday off to attend opening day.
Where else could you find such delicacies as Chicken fried bacon, a fried Moon pie or a Pop rock fundae.

Go here http://www.bigtex.com/foodlocator/ for more tempting treats and information.

If You're Going to Preach Politics...Get Ready to Pay Some Taxes

2008-09-23T07:03:00.000-07:00

Churches and other ministries that are exempt from paying federal income tax under section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) Code are strictly prohibited from participating in or intervening in—directly, indirectly, or implied—any political campaign on behalf of or in opposition to any candidate or political party for public office.

~I'll be finding out where this church is~

Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator

2008-09-22T08:06:00.000-07:00

Go Here..............

http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html

Palin/Hilary on SNL

2008-09-15T12:39:00.000-07:00

For those of you, like me, who missed the opening of Saturday Night Live....and apparently the best part of SNL that evening...........Here ya go!

Dollar Store Mystery Bags

2008-09-12T08:12:00.000-07:00

Normally when I go to a store where everything costs one dollar, the only mystery I’m prepared for is how coarse and unpleasant toilet paper can be. A recent trip to a nearby Dollar Tree offered a more pronounced mystery in the form of so-called grab bags, which were strewn about a rack that taunted, “We know you just love surprises!” Families who shop at the Dollar Tree are known for their love of surprises, such as the surprise that they only have twenty-eight dollars per week to spend on groceries, or the surprise that Christmas is being canceled due to mother's crystal meth addiction. These grab bags merge poor people’s penchant for surprise with their complete lack of taste.

The grab bags were divided into three categories: blue (“a surprise for a boy”), pink (“a surprise for a girl”), and green (I have no idea in hell what kind of bag this is). I decided to compose a comparative analysis of these grab bags by purchasing one of each type and sharing my findings, even though I knew full well that opening three mystery bags in succession might give me a heart attack, or that the contents of my new bags could compel me to commit suicide. But at a total cost of $3, I really couldn’t complain about the fine value.

A Surprise for a Boy

CONTENTS:1 Green slinky 4 Decks of cards

It is an exciting day to be a boy. It is true that everyone loves a slinky, but only a boy can appreciate the nuance of using the slinky as a kind of tube prison for his G.I. Joes, or whipping the slinky around at his friend. My earth science teacher in middle school used a slinky to demonstrate the P-waves and S-waves of an earthquake; no thanks, Mr. Strempek—I demonstrated how to drop an F-bomb and got the hell out of that class. Slinkys aren't for learning, they're for slinking. This particular slinky, unfortunately, is particularly shoddy. My G.I. Joes escaped after about a minute.When you’re finished with your slinky, it is time to play with your four decks of cards. I don’t know any card game that requires four separate decks—or for that matter any card game in which gambling or alcohol isn’t prominently involved. Now is a good time for a boy to learn about these activities as he struggles with the fact that his mom allowed the employees of the Dollar Tree to select his birthday gifts this year.

A Surprise For a Girl

CONTENTS: 3 Empty pink bottles

1 Empty pink container

1 Pink loofah

1 Mirror

2 Packages of facial tissue

Instead of printing that pink “grab bag” motif across this bag, perhaps they should have just called it a “garbage bag” and saved me the trouble of opening it up. Included are a bunch of empty plastic containers, some tissues, and a loofah, which is girl for “spongy body wash applicator.” Yes, fellows, you can fling the loofah at a group of G.I. Joes and pretend that it’s some sort of missile, but after some preliminary research I’ve concluded that this provides no more than a scant few hours of entertainment. The only other application for you males would be to hang it up in your shower and pretend that you have a girlfriend.If you’ve purchased the pink grab bag, though, you’re probably a girl, in which case you could always use another loofah. Maybe a new loofah is what you need to actually become pretty. The empty plastic containers I’m not so sure about. You could put shampoo in them, I suppose, but why are you buying shampoo that doesn’t already come in its own bottle? Maybe the plastic bottles are to teach girls how to recycle, since that’s the only humane thing to do with their new grab bag toys. The mirror is useful for reflecting that priceless look of disappointment as girls open up their bag.I hope you girls enjoy blowing your nose while imagining what it would be like to own hotel shampoo—I’ve got to go play four simultaneous games of High Low Ohama Poker with my new good luck charm, Mr. Green Slinky.

The Green Bag

CONTENTS:

1 Pair of underwear

4 Decks of playing cards

This grab bag is such a badass mystery, it doesn’t even clue you in as to which gender it’s for. That’s probably why the grab bag rack was about 90% green bags—nobody knows who's supposed to buy them. I think they made the bag green so that stoners are tricked into thinking there might be some marijuana in one of them. They'd be disappointed—as would anybody hoping to find anything the least bit practical.

Now is a good time to mention that four plus four equals eight, which means that this article has caused me to own no fewer than eight decks of cards. If you assembled these decks together to play a game of war, it would actually take longer to complete than the war in Iraq. I challenge anybody reading this to the most epic game of war of all time, the winner getting the blue underwear. In the meantime I’m going to try to get a bank to give me a loan so that I can use the playing cards to open up The Green Slinky Casino.
The underwear is baffling. You would think that the gender-neutral bag would be the least eligible place to include underwear, since you kind of have to know what gender you are before you buy something to wear around your junk. But I have to admit: this underwear design doesn’t seem to exclude either boys or girls. It’s cut sort of like a pair of men’s briefs, but it has the luxurious sheen and delicate softness of a pair of panties. The only thing I can say for sure about this underwear is that it fits me wonderfully, and you really can't put a price on that. Oh wait, yes you can: one dollar.

It is time to put on my new underwear and roll around in all my terrific prizes.

My Dog's Ass Looks Like McCain

2008-09-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

The search is on for the dogs that look the most like Senator Barack Obama and Senator John McCain. The "My Dog Looks Like Obama or McCain" Photo Contest, sponsored by Rover 411, a unique article-based website for dogs and their owners, is accepting submissions until Monday, Sept. 15, 2008.
Photos of dogs can be submitted via www.Rover411.com/photosubmission.htm . From Sept. 22 through Oct. 22, Rover 411 members can vote for their favorite photo. Membership is free and available to the general public with a valid email address. Winners will be announced at Rover 411 Grand Opening Event to be held 10:00 am, October 25, 2008 at Best Friends Pet Care, 33711 Harper Avenue, Clinton Township, MI 48035 and on the website. More information is available at www.Rover411.com

Republicans Playing the Same Old Game.....

2008-09-11T07:31:00.000-07:00

Obama called out the McCain campaign for trying to make up a controversy to keep the media distracted from the issues. Most of the articles have used quotes from these remarks, but here is the full text of what he had to say.

“Before we begin today I want to say a few words about the latest made up controversy by the John McCain campaign. What their campaign has done this morning is the same game that has made people sick and tired of politics in this country. They seize on an innocent remark, try to take it out of context, throw up an outrageous ad because they know it’s catnip for the news media.”
“I’m assuming you guys heard this watching the news. I am talking about John McCain’s economic policies, I’m talking about John McCain’s economic policies, and I said it’s more of the same. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig, and suddenly they oh, you must be talking about the governor of Alaska. See it would be funny except of course the news media decided it was the lead story yesterday. They would much rather, this is the McCain campaign, have the story about phony and foolish diversions then about the future.”
“This happens every election cycle. Every four years this is what we do. We’ve got an energy crisis. We have an education system that is not working for too many of our children and making us less competitive. We have an economy that is creating hardship for families all across America. We’ve got two wars going on. Veterans coming home not being cared for, and this is what they want to talk about. This is what they want to spend 2 out of the last 55 days talking about.”
“You know who ends up losing at the end of the day? It’s not the Democratic candidate, it’s not the Republican candidate. It’s you, the American people. Because then we go another year, or another four years, or another eight years without addressing the issues that matter to you. Enough! I don’t care what they say about me, but I love this country too much to let them take over another election with lies and phony outrage and Swift Boat politics. Enough is enough.”

Palin family names explained......

2008-09-09T12:06:00.000-07:00

*Track, 19, named after the lake where his father fishes.
*Bristol, 17, named after Bristol Bay – where her mother wants to create a huge mine.
*Willow, 14, inspired by willow ptarmigan, Alaska's state bird.
*Piper, 7, bears the same name as the family plane.
*Trig, 4 months – Trig is Norse for "brave victory".

And now we know.

As you might have noticed, I did not comment on either national convention.
I probably will... eventually. I am still quite bitter about Hilary not getting the
nomination

NSF This!

2008-09-09T08:47:00.000-07:00

A local restaurant in Grand Saline, Texas has found a very inovative means of dealing with deadbeats who write “hot checks”.

Don’s Dairy Bar, also in Grand Saline, has posted a list of NSF offenders on their drive thru window for as long as I have been going there. It is always entertaining to read while you are waiting for your order.

Republicans & Guns are Sexy....................NOT

2008-09-03T14:45:00.001-07:00

Hilarious Phone Call....

2008-08-22T14:20:00.000-07:00

Youv'e got to here this hilarious phone call from an 88 year old woman from Austin, Texas to Ellen DeGeneres on her show. Too funny!

http://www.thefunnystuff.net/viewmovie.php?id=905

Just in Time for the Elections......Programming Errors in Voting Machines Admitted

2008-08-22T07:04:00.000-07:00

A major voting machine maker has cautioned its customers in 34 states to look out for a programming error that may cause votes to be dropped.
At least 1,000 total votes were dropped in nine Ohio counties over the course of a handful elections back to 2006, including the March presidential primary, though the error was in all cases discovered and corrected within several hours. Premier Election Solutions Inc. previously had said complications with antivirus software caused the problem, but on Tuesday the company said in a product advisory that the problem is with the machines themselves.
The error occurs when multiple memory cards are being uploaded at the same time, and it is more likely to occur in jurisdictions that have several voters and use touch-screen voting systems, said Premier spokesman Chris Riggall.
Allen, Texas-based Premier, a unit of North Canton-based Diebold Inc., supplies touch-screen voting systems as well as scanners for paper ballots. The problem is more likely to occur in touch-screen systems because they use more memory cards, one for every touch screen.
Premier said in its product advisory that the problem can be corrected as long as officials monitor whether the memory cards are being uploaded, and if they are not, reload them until they are.
"We are communicating to customers around the country, making sure that we're answering any questions concerning it," Riggall said.
In Ohio, the dropped votes were discovered within several hours by election officials who noticed the memory cards weren't being read properly. Workers re-fed the cards into the server until they worked, and the votes were added to the overall vote totals.
After Premier blamed the problem solely on antivirus software, officials in Ohio's Butler County kept testing the machines and claimed that there was a problem with the machines themselves. That was later verified by Premier's own testing. The company said the software can cause the error, but that the programming glitch can produce the error even when the software isn't used.
Ohio will continue to use the Premier machines in the Nov. 4 election. Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner said identifying the cause of the problem will enable the state to prepare election officials to watch for the problem and correct it should it resurface.
"We are finalizing plans that will walk board officials through the process of identifying the problem, loading the affected memory cards and verifying that the votes are counted," said Brunner spokesman Kevin Kidder.
The company and state election officials said there are multiple layers of security in place, such as post-election audits that match voting machine totals with a paper trail, that will ensure that no votes are missed.
Cuyahoga County, Ohio's largest county and the home of Cleveland, dropped Premier touch-screen systems in 2007 after the system malfunctioned. The company sued the county for breach of contract. Brunner then countersued, citing the dropped votes that the company acknowledged in its letter to Brunner this week.
Premier spokesman Riggall said he could not comment on the lawsuit.

~~Excerpt from Wikipedia~~
For criticisms of the former Diebold Election Systems, see Premier Election Solutions#Security issues.
On July 31, 2002, Cathy Cox, Georgia's Secretary of State, signed a contract with Diebold, allowing the firm to distribute electronic voting machines throughout the state and design the ballots.[8]
In August 2003, Walden O'Dell, then the chief executive of Diebold, announced that he had been a top fund-raiser for President George W. Bush and had sent a get-out-the-funds letter to 100 wealthy and politically inclined friends in the Republican Party, to be held at his home in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.[9] When assailed by critics for the conflict of interest, he pointed out that the company's election machines division is run out of Texas by a registered Democrat. Nonetheless, he vowed to lower his political profile lest his personal actions harm the company.
In December 2005, O'Dell resigned following reports that the company was facing securities fraud litigation surrounding charges of insider trading.[10]
In March 2007, it was reported by the Associated Press that Diebold was considering divesting itself of its voting machine subsidiary because it was "widely seen as tarnishing the company's reputation".[5]
In August 2007, Wikipedia Scanner found that edits via the company's IP addresses occurred to Diebold's Wikipedia article, removing criticisms of the company's products, references to its CEO's fund-raising for President Bush and other negative criticism from the Wikipedia page about the company in November 2005.[11]

For more on Diebold & Premier go here......http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diebold

Funny Headlines

2008-08-20T08:42:00.000-07:00

Stephen Colbert...You Just Got Told!

2008-08-18T11:37:00.000-07:00

More from the land of meth labs and mullets......

A city councilman in Canton, Texas, called Colbert a sucker and joked that he would "mash his nose," days after the comedian referred to the town as an "incorporated outhouse."
"What does that sucker know about it? He's never been here anyway," Councilman John Fuller said in a story Friday in the Tyler Morning Telegraph. "If he comes down here, I'll mash his nose."

Stephen Colbert Calls Out Canton Texas..."An Incorporated Outhouse"

2008-08-18T08:43:00.000-07:00

In an ongoing gag on his show "The Colbert Report," Colbert has been taking pot shots at a variety of towns named Canton. It began when he referred to a Georgia town as "the crappy Canton."
Colbert then referred to Canton, Kan., with an unprintable epithet and claimed the town's residents watched "horse-drawn paintings" for entertainment. Colbert also referred to Canton, S.D., as "North Dakota's dirty ashtray" and suggested the town's dogs all suffer from alcoholism.
Cantons in Connecticut, Illinois, Massachusetts, North Carolina and Ohio have so far escaped Colbert's ire.
Leaders of the Texas town of Canton, which has a population of about 5,100, invited Colbert to the town's monthly flea market. Called "First Monday Trade Days," the flea market harkens back to Texas' frontier traditions, "when it was common to trade a rifle for a good hunting dog," according to a city Web site.
"Canton is known worldwide," City Manager Andy McCuistion said of the town, located about 55 miles southeast of Dallas. "You can go anywhere in the world, and people will say, 'Canton? Yeah, I know where that is. It's where that big flea market is."'

It's about time someone noticed what a cesspool this little town is. And on national television no less! I had the unfortunateness of having my family move to Canton after I graduated from high school. (At least I didn't have to go to school there!) I have since long ago moved but I will never forget the wisom of one older woman who once told me "Dear, you were'nt born here, you will never belong".

Thank you God!

Texas Sales Tax Holiday.....

2008-08-15T14:46:00.000-07:00

August 15-17, 2008

Texas shoppers get a break from state and local sales taxes on August 15, 16 and 17 - the state’s annual tax holiday. Lay-away plans can be used again this year to take advantage of the sales tax holiday.
The law exempts most clothing and footwear priced under $100 from sales and use taxes, which could save shoppers about $8 on every $100 they spend. Backpacks under $100 and used by elementary and secondary students are also exempt.

Below is a list of tax free items............................................

Baby clothes
Backpacks for use by elementary and secondary students
Belts with attached buckles
Boots - cowboy, hiking
Caps/hats - baseball, fishing, golf, knitted
Coats and wraps
Diapers - adult and baby
Dresses
Gloves (generally)
Gym suits and uniforms
Hooded shirts and hooded sweatshirts
Hosiery
Jackets
Jeans
Jerseys - baseball and football
Jogging apparel
Neckwear and ties
Pajamas
Pants and trousers
Raincoats and ponchos
Robes
Shirts
Shoes - sandals, slippers, sneakers, tennis, walking
Socks (including athletic)
Shorts
Suits, slacks, and jackets
Sweatshirts
Sweat suits
Sweaters
Swimsuits
Underclothes
Work clothes and uniforms

No Mas Awesome Blossom @ Chili's

2008-08-15T13:56:00.000-07:00

My party of three was saddened by the news of the loss of this noble appetizer at a local Chili's last night. Even worse the brusque way our server informed us of it's demise......~~Server hollering across filled restaurant at other server~~..."Hey, Have they yanked the blossom off the menu yet." YANKED!

Indeed they had.

However, we were informed that they had "onion strings for like $6 or $7, or something."

Really...

Genuine Haiku Generator

2008-08-15T11:52:00.000-07:00

OK....I'm addicted...You can even save one forever in cyberspace!

Go Here..........http://www.everypoet.com/haiku/default.htm

Letting it all Hang Out

2008-08-07T12:18:00.000-07:00

A Texas truck driver was arrested Wednesday evening for allegedly exposing himself to customers at the Huddle House in Galliano.
Steve W. Carter, who told police he weighs 285 pounds, said his pants fell down because he had recently lost 28 pounds, Lafourche Sheriff’s spokesman Larry Weidel said.
Carter, 44, of 2495 Van Zandt County Road in Wheeler, Texas, was charged with one count of felony obscenity and disturbing the peace.
Deputies made Carter go to his truck and put on a belt, before cuffing him.
According to police, a Huddle House employee saw Carter exposing himself and informed a manager.
Carter, who stands 6-foot-4, complied with the manager’s request to zip his pants, but later when he left the bathroom, his pants dropped to his ankles.
One patron requested another order of food because Carter’s exposed private parts came close to their plate, Weidel said.
The penalty for obscenity is a fine of $1,000 to $2,500 and/or a prison sentence between six months and three years.

Cake Wrecks

2008-08-04T14:02:00.001-07:00

This site is hilarious! Go here for more......

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

Ewwwww........

2008-08-04T11:22:00.000-07:00

Verne Troyer (aka Mini-Me) has an explicit sex tape out. Wow.
Does everyone have a sex tape out? I feel cheated.
Where's my explicit sex tape?

Edgewood Police Chief & Officers Treated Like Criminals...

2008-08-01T07:02:00.000-07:00

We all know by now that last Thursday, Edgewood Police Chief, Henry Askew & his officers were put on paid leave until Monday due to "economic concerns". What we didn't know was exactly how it was handled.

Apparently, Charles Prater, Mayor of Edgewood, asked Chief Askew & the Edgewood Officers to meet him at the Edgewood Police Department. What they didn't know was who else would be there....

Also waiting at the police department were two Texas Rangers, Van Zandt County Sheriff Pat Burnett and a sheriff’s investigator who watched as the Edgewood police chief and his staff were made to turn over city keys and property and clean out their desks.

“I felt like we were treated like criminals,” Askew said.

The Edgewood officers said they were told by the mayor that, because police officers are considered to have “Type-A Personalities,” they could pose a danger to city employees, Askew said.

Was this really necessary? Puhleeze!

Edgewood City Council Not Informed....

2008-07-31T07:02:00.000-07:00

More Edgewood drama ensues..... It appears the Edgewood city council was not informed of Mayor,Charles Prater's decision to temporarily suspend operations of the Edgewood police department.

In Monday’s Edgewood City Council meeting, Ruby Smith and council member Louis Dunn criticized the manner in which the Edgewood Police Department was shut down for the four days leading up to the meeting. "This was one of the biggest things that has come up. The whole council should have been notified ahead, but as far as I know only the mayor and mayor pro-tem knew about what was going to take place," she said."It was an embarrassment to me, to the council and to the city," Dunn added. "It didn’t have to be done this way."

No action was taken by the council on the police department’s future operations with a new budget year beginning Oct. 1.

All five of the department’s full-time employees returned to work Monday after a closed meeting with Askew.

Edgewood To Keep Police Department

2008-07-29T11:58:00.000-07:00

It was decided in a meeting on Monday to keep the four Edgewood police officers.
Good for them, especially since there is no way the VZ county sheriff's department has the manpower to do so. Bad for us who forget about that little speed trap until it is too late.

Dream Interpretation

2008-07-25T14:20:00.000-07:00

My dream I submitted got picked as on of the Top 10 and will be posted sometime next week with their interpretation! Go here to post your own http://www.dreamschool.org

Edgewood Texas Possibly Losing it's Police Department

2008-07-25T07:01:00.000-07:00

Apparently the high price of gas and rising energy costs has now affected whether or not the city of Edgewood will be patroled by it's four police officers. As of Thursday morning they are on paid leave. The city says the Van Zandt County Sheriff's Department will be patrolling the streets for now. The city will discuss the fate of it's police department at a meeting Monday, July 28, 9:00 a.m. at the Edgewood city hall.

Weinerland!

2008-07-24T13:08:00.000-07:00

Surely, David Pessink could have thought of a better name for his business than "Weinerland".

Michael*to*the*Anne